January 27, 2014

Snuggles and the Tug of Heaven

Posted in Watermarks in Progress tagged , , at 3:31 pm by Tamara

My son woke up crying in the middle of the night last night.  I sat and snuggled him in the rocker and he fell back asleep, his head snuggled on my shoulder and gentle light from the snowy night outside caressing his smooth cheeks.

There are no words for the overflowing sense of heart-fullness that I have when I’m snuggling one of my sleeping kids and staring into their peaceful face. Does it sound weird to say I feel the tug of heaven in those moments? Because I sense so keenly that I’m experiencing something that my heart just can’t contain and words certainly can’t confine into sentences. Such a sense of awe to have this inexplicable, spiritual, life-strong bond of love (what an inadequate word that feels like) with this precious little soul God entrusted to me. I marvel at it and my heart fumbles to wrap around the realization that we were made for a different world, designed to experience a bond with our savior that we can’t even imagine. And experiencing just a little tendril of that relationship through the all-consuming love I feel for my kids just about sends me to my knees with awe of how deep Christ’s love for us must be and how little I must grasp it.

I could stare at this post for the rest of my life and I don’t think I’d get the words right to describe it. The blessing and fulfillment of motherhood is deeper than I ever could have imagined before I held my children’s little bodies and huge souls in my arms. What an undeserved, awe-inspiring gift. And how great must my God be to give gifts like that? And how will my heart explode when I get to heaven and get to experience the entirety of that love and relationship? I hope God gives me better words to worship him with then. In the meantime, I will snuggle my babies and marvel at the mystery.

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2 Comments »

  1. Mary said,

    Love love love this. It’s been a long time for me, but I still remember those precious moments!

    • Tamara said,

      I hope I treasure it up so I never forget, either. :) Hard to imagine maybe snuggling THEIR kids someday! So neat!


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