June 8, 2011

Spider Chronicles

Posted in Watermarks in Progress at 1:32 am by Tamara

I’ve found myself with a lot of time to read blogs lately.  There aren’t too many things you can do with one (or no) hands while feeding a baby—unless I’m getting really creative my list is pretty much read, browse online, watch TV, and pray.  I’ve found myself doing a lot more of all of those lately, and it’s given me a new appreciation for my friends who blog regularly.  I don’t even care if they blog about “interesting” things—when I’m too brain dead from sleep deprivation to tackle Dickens (which I am reading right now), there’s something really enjoyable about reading blogs about how potty training is going or how cheap you found ground beef yesterday or how your dog just chewed a hole through your mattress.  Really, my favorite blogs aren’t the most interesting ones, but the ones I know will be updated frequently.  So, I going to ramble about nothing (aka: my day).  I respectfully realize you may not have the same criteria, for what makes an interesting blog, however.  Heh.

Yesterday got relegated to the category of “Bad Days.”  The first problem was we had no water.  On Monday, Adam and I dutifully dragged ourselves out to the yard in the 90 degree heat to work on that dang fence.  At one point Adam was digging, and since we only have one shovel I decided to water the garden until I could help again.  I pulled the hose and suddenly there was water gushing from the wall of our house; the pipe leading to the faucet had broken off.  The only way to stop it was to turn off the water to the whole house, and when we called it in to our home warranty they told us it would be 24 hours before they could get a plumber out.  Seriously?  So, we had no water for 24 hours.  It really wasn’t that bad; I’d rather have no running water than no electricity (and hence air conditioning and internet).  But it did mean the plumber would be coming when Adam was at work.

Now, I think most plumbers are probably really nice guys, but there’s just something creepy about being a woman home alone with a baby and having a strange man in your house.  I made sure he got a good look at our 65+ pound dog barking ferociously at him.  Good Knightley!  After the plumber got the water fixed he knocked on the front door.  Of course at that moment I was feeding Rean, who had been fussing/sobbing all day.  Knightley dutifully started barking, which scared Baby, who started screaming again.  So I carried wailing Rean outside to talk to the plumber, who informed me that the pipe was fixed and that there was a brown recluse on our porch.  Fascinating.

I took Rean back in the house and came back out with a broom.  You might think Mr. Plumber would offer to kill the spider and save the cute baby’s mother from death, but he didn’t.  The spider was up in the corner of the porch ceiling, so I had to try to stab it with the broom handle without letting it fall into my hair.  My first shot, sadly, wasn’t enough to smash it, and it fell to the porch (thankfully NOT my hair!)  Now, a broom handle is good for smashing bugs on the ceiling because the end is flat, but once they hit the floor you have a problem that I didn’t consider—there’s a hole in the broom handle so you can hang it on the wall.  This also means that when you whack at the spider skiddering around your porch, it will fit in the hole and not die.  So the plumber stood smoking his cigarette and watched me dance around, whacking madly at the deadly spider, to the melodious sounds of baby wailing inside the house.  Sigh.  Chivalry is dead.

The nasty thing was making for the crack between the porch and our house, but I THOUGHT I got it.  There were spider legs splattered all over the place, so I figured if it wasn’t dead it would be soon.  Unfortunately, when Adam got home he found a brown spider hanging in the corner of our porch.  So either I didn’t kill it, or there were more than one, and either story is equally horrifying.  But Adam killed that one.

I decided to google images of brown recluses to see if that’s really what it was.  Did you know if you type “brown” into google that “brown recluse” is the first suggestion??  If you don’t believe me, please don’t try it, because the images I saw will haunt me for the rest of my life.  As if the spider pictures weren’t bad enough, there were all these pictures of people’s rotting flesh after they got bitten.  (Gag, choke, hurl)

So, apparently I am still on the bug kingdom’s most wanted list.  And this isn’t all—a few days ago I was feeding Rean on the couch when Adam suddenly killed a big black spider that was crawling on one of the pillows.  Now every time I sit anywhere I feel like spiders are crawling on me, which is unfortunate since I do a lot of sitting these days.  I may have to learn how to feed Berean standing up.

Today we went to Home Depot and made a beeline (no pun intended) for the “Insecticide” isle.  That stuff had better work!!

 

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2 Comments »

  1. mary said,

    I love how you chronicle your bug adventures. It seriously makes me angry though that the plumber watched you attempt to kill it rather than doing it himself!

  2. Mom said,

    Your description of your spider demolition made me chuckle. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with all these bugs. Reminds me of the first year we lived in San Diego when Lady proudly dragged in a scorpion and a black widow spider. Yay to Adam for exterminating the other spiders. I hope that’s the end of them! And I sincerely hope you don’t have to call back the incompetent (at least in the realm of arachnid extermination) plumber any time soon!


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