May 27, 2011

Bug Kingdom Most Wanted

Posted in Watermarks in Progress at 11:49 pm by Tamara

The bug kingdom put me on their most wanted list a few days ago.  First, I took the dogs out in the morning and walked into a spider web strung across our front steps.  You know how hard it is to get tickly, invisible spider webbing off you?  And how it makes you feel like surely there’s a spider scurrying all over you?  Blehk!

Next, I took my shower and went to put on my bathrobe.  I thought I saw something on it, but looked and figured it was just the tag, so I put it on.  Next thing I know a COCKROACH is falling off me!  I screamed, leaped out of the tub, and continued to scream.  Knightley dutifully ambled in to see why I was screaming.  Thankfully he couldn’t see the cockroach in the tub, because he has been known to try to eat them.  Which, although I appreciate his efforts to save me from them, I find completely disgusting.  Adam was at work, so I forced myself to exibit extreme bravery and got one of his shoes (definitely not using my own!) to kill it with.  It took two terrific whacks, and upon the second one it made that horrible cockroach crunching sound and splattered into two pieces, spewing guts all over the tub.  If there was a bug C.S.I. television show this tub totally would have been on it, it was that guts spewy.  UHG.  Wonderful brave Adam bleached the tub three times for me when he got home.

The ironic thing is that I was super paranoid when we moved here about cockroaches getting on my bathrobe.  I told myself to get over it and stop checking, and now look!  Now I have to waste precious moments in my day carefully inspecting every inch of my bathrobe before I put it on.  And this also reinforces my psychosis about being barefoot in a tub (shudder).  There is NO WAY I will be entering a tub without flip flops any time soon.  Not that I did before.

Next I left to take Rean to visit Adam at work, and the industrious spider had redone his web across the steps, this time at the perfect level of my mouth (vindictive spider!)  Blehk!  And when I arrived at Adam’s work and was getting Baby in the stroller, a bug flew into my face and got stuck in my lipgloss.  Blehk!

Thankfully, Snopes.com informs me that people DO NOT, in fact, swallow eight spiders a year, or I’m sure I would have swallowed eight or thirty that night.  Oh, and if you want to be completely disturbed, I can now direct you to a website addressing completely horrifying “myths” about what spiders do to humans in their sleep and otherwise.  I may have to go wash my mouth out just from thinking about it….

Advertisements

1 Comment »

  1. Mom said,

    ROFL! I know you didn’t enjoy this experience, but I sure got a kick out of reading about it! Thank you. Love you!


I am SO encouraged by comments: please feel free to leave one!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: