April 9, 2011

Happy Pregnant Pessimist

Posted in Water Droplets tagged , at 1:20 pm by Tamara

I am a happy pessimist.  I have long maintained that it’s better to be pessimistic and pleasantly surprised than optimistic and disappointed.  The logic is irrefutable!  I like being a pessimist, and I am quite happy being regularly pleasantly surprised when my dire dramatic predictions of doom fail to come true.  Pessimism is great!  (Oops, I mean, it’s horrible.)

I don’t know what possessed me, then, to be optimistic about when Baby would arrive.  Maybe it was the fact that I hate surprises, so I mentally prepared myself for the possibility of him being early.  Maybe it was the fact that my Mom’s first baby was three and a half weeks early.  Maybe it was the preeclampsia scare where they might have induced at 36 ½ weeks.  Maybe it was the fact that I’ve been having pre-labor contractions (weak, but real) for three weeks.  Maybe it was the fact that Mom’s schedule meant she had to come early, so we prayed for Baby to come early, too.

Whatever it was, I’ve spent about the past month optimistically thinking “He COULD come any day now.”  Which means that I’ve also spent the past month being disappointed!  Baby is now late, even later than the average late baby, and my case for the benefits of pessimism has been supported like never before.  Hence, I have come to a conclusion:

Baby is not coming.  He is going to live in my tummy until he is 18.  It is time, at long last, to break down and go buy summer maternity clothes, since I will be wearing them for the rest of my life.  It is time to embrace my huge stomach and go get a tattoo to cover the rapidly multiplying stretch marks.  Adam’s going to figure out how to turn Baby’s crib into an attachment to our bed so we can have a king size, I can sleep with my mountain of pillows, and he can sleep on more than six inches of mattress.  We’re going to buy an ultrasound machine so we’ll have pictures to post on Facebook as Baby grows up.  I’m enrolling myself in peewee soccer, kiddy choir, little fishies swim class, and finger painting class so Baby can have every opportunity in his childhood in my tummy.

Because, you see, Baby is not coming.

(Aaaaand…let the pleasant surprising begin!   …PLEASE??)


1 Comment »

  1. Mandi said,

    ha ha ha ha!! Now that is more like it :)

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