January 21, 2011


Posted in Watermarks in Progress tagged at 10:37 pm by Tamara

Well, I made it four days before crying over statistics homework!  Not bad, considering my track record.  Although it was kind of the perfect storm for an emotional disaster of an evening: pregnant, getting over a cold, sleep deprived, doing math homework, researching sex trafficking, and discussing abortion.  What was I thinking??

I have also decided that math makes me feel dumb.  I consider this an unpleasant sensation.  Therefore, I officially relegate math to the category of “Things Which are Unpleasant.”  There are other things in life that make me feel dumb, but usually I can at least try to hide my dumbness.  Y’know, if I don’t get the joke I can just laugh anyway, but somehow teachers don’t feel inclined to up my grades when I laugh at them.  Hence, the only way to avoid the dumb feeling is to avoid math, which I have done quite faithfully for the past decade.  Alas, no more.  (And again I voice my age-old, unanswered question: “How can I have a rocket scientist for a dad and be so completely inept at math?  Where did the genes GO?!?!”)  I don’t like feeling dumb.

I keep hearing that we should sleep now because we won’t get any sleep once baby comes.  That is not so much happening.  Partly due to sickness (first me, then Adam), partly due to dogs, partly due to changed work schedules, etc, etc, and I don’t remember the last time I had an uninterrupted night’s sleep.  For a while I was waking up almost every hour on the hour, now I’ve just started waking up at 1am and 4am (and then getting up at 5:30).  Perhaps this is a disguised blessing getting me ready for 4am feedings, but I feel like it’s probably just going to result in physical and emotional instability….

All that to say, I’m tired.  And emotional.  And almost out of pink M&Ms!!  Whimper.



  1. Mary Hamill said,

    Tamara, I’m so sorry for all the recent struggles! :( Praying for you as you go through these challenging times. (I HATED statistics, too. If I passed, you will too!!!)

    And I concur about Valentine M & Ms tasting the best!

  2. Mom said,

    Sorry I was away from the internet for awhile and didn’t see this until now, but I second everything Mary said. I will also add that I don’t really consider statistics to be a “math” class. It was in fact, my most Hated class, but I have confidence you will get through it too!

    I love you!

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