June 27, 2010

Wonder Mom

Posted in Watermarks in Progress at 9:30 pm by Tamara

It happened in the cookie isle.  I saw Wonder Mom.  True, she was dressed in civilian clothes, but she didn’t fool me.  Oh no, observant commoner that I am, I saw her secret weapon.  That’s right, she had one of those.  A little file folder, neatly organized and stuffed full of–dun dun dun!–COUPONS.  I looked at her (perfectly well behaved, of course) toddler sitting in the cart, and her cart full of healthy things (albeit she WAS in the cookie isle) and her beautiful file of coupons, and I thought…

“I will never be that wonderful.”

(Okay, so maybe a little dramatic.)  But I have serious envy of these hyper-organized women and the hundreds of dollars they save through couponing.  Case in point, as I grabbed the Oreos I came for, ducked my head to avoid humiliation (I couldn’t bear the sad look I was sure would be on her face when she saw that I obviously had no file folder), and hurried out of the isle, I heard “Ma’am?” called from behind me.  I didn’t turn around at first, because I’m still getting used to this oh-so-Southern “Ma’am” thing (seriously, little high schoolers calling me ma’am is traumatizing.  Although not as traumatizing as the punk high school boy who called me “Sweetie” the other day.)  At any rate, when I finally turned around, she said–to my utter shock–“Would you like this coupon?”

Apparently Wonder Mom not only had coupons, she could READ THOUGHTS!  “Don’t panic,” I told myself.  “She might be a friendly super-hero.” Looking around me to make sure she was really talking to me (and that she didn’t have a sidekick about to drop kick my idiot-ness for not having coupons myself), I humbly approached her greatness and reached out my poor (literally) hand to accept her gracious rescue of my patheticness.  It was a coupon for a free box of Oreos.  She said she saw me grab them, assured me she didn’t need it (had printed two), and I was welcome to it.    In true idolizing fan fashion, I mumbled some bashful comment about how I’m so envious of women who are organized with coupons.  She just smiled (as did her perfectly behaved toddler), and I shuffled out of the shine of her glory, back to my peasant existance.

Seriously, though….  How do these women do it?  (And I KNOW some of you who read my blog fit into this category.)  I’ve tried couponing repeatedly, but always given up in a flurry of brand-name deals I don’t want and “coupon printers” I’m sure will put viruses on my computer if I download them.  I can never seem to find the products I actually want–it seems like all the coupons are fad products I can’t afford even WITH a coupon.

So c’mon, all you Wonder Moms and Wonder Wives.  What’s your secret?  Share a little of your radioactive spider bite coupon power with your greatest admirer?  Please?

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8 Comments »

  1. Becky said,

    Tamara dear, what medications are you taking?? Have you been hallucinating often? I am seriously concerned about your well-being. I hate to be the one to tell you but there is no such thing as a organized, complete-with-coupons mother of a toddler. It is a mirage, a hoax or maybe(!) an angel unaware!! But never fear, as soon as I clean up the dishes, get the laundry folded and finish taking care of the things that have been sitting out for a week, I’ll pray for you. ; ) Maybe we should discuss this over coffee!

  2. Tamara said,

    ROFL. I love you, Becky. You always make me feel better! (But thanks a LOT for reminding me about laundry.) :P

  3. Grace said,

    Tamara-
    I am with you. How do these women do it? I have no idea, to be perfectly honest I still love Sendiks and know I’m overpaying, and somehow justify the expense in my little world.

    Here’s to all of you clippers out there, let us know what it going on!!

  4. Carol said,

    Ahhh, the empty nest…gone are the days of penny pinching and coupon hoarding. Since there are only the two of us, there is no real need anymore, and amongst other things, relaxing in the grocery store is one of the things I really enjoy. So – don’t fret it – breathe – and don’t eat the oreos in one sitting. And besides, what you don’t see it what’s underneath. SuperMom might be villanous at heart. Ya just don’t know. When the time comes you’ll find your feet and you’ll determine what is most important to you. And if will be just fine.

  5. Tamara said,

    Thanks, Carol! I’m definitely learning that every woman (even the ones who seem perfect) makes choices about what “homemaking” activities are priorities. And that it’s okay to forgo some of them! Better ramen with love than a feast with contention, right?? )

  6. Mom said,

    Such a simple daily happening, and a such profound and humorous take on it. Thanks for sharing!

  7. Mark said,

    Pick n’ Save has double coupon days on Wednesdays. Not sure if you have a Pick n’ Save down by you. Maybe that wasn’t a word of wisdom worth sharing?

  8. Tamara said,

    Update: before I went shopping today I spent about 30 minutes looking for coupons, and I saved $3.75. I feel very accomplished now!


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