August 22, 2009

How Far Up the Ladder…?

Posted in Watermarks in Progress tagged , , at 11:05 pm by Tamara

I’m realizing that it’s easier to trust God to provide when I feel like I’ve “done all I can” and now the rest is “up to God.” It’s the old “God Helps Those Who Help Themselves” mindset, I guess.

But what about trusting Him when I DON’T feel like I’ve done all I can? Or, more specifically, when I feel like surely I haven’t done all I could, or I would have accomplished “_______” already. Finding a job seems to me like a no-brainer–ANYONE can find a job (some job, any job) if they’re willing to lower their standards a little, right? So if I haven’t found a job, it must mean I haven’t looked hard enough, or lowered my standards enough, or interviewed well enough, or had a good enough resume, etc, etc, etc. So how can I just “trust God to provide?” like everyone keeps telling me to?

I don’t think I’ve realized until now how deep-seeded my belief is that I can only trust God to come through if I’ve done everything else I’m supposed to. Obviously that wasn’t true of my salvation. Is that true of His character? Is there some line when He stops providing in order to discipline you? If so, where is that line?
I think this is something I need to dig into. If nothing else, I need to get over my feeling that He’ll only provide if I’m doing good enough. Isn’t that, in essence, earning His grace and provision? Like I draw a ladder and say, “Okay, God, I’ll handle it up to this point, and then I trust You to take it from there, because I know You won’t help me until I hit this line.” Doesn’t quite sound right (ahem). I need to ask Him for some wisdom on this.


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