October 13, 2011
Six Months Old
Berean just turned six months old. I can’t believe it–where did the months go? We’re loving every day of discovery and development. He lights up our lives in more ways than I could ever express. I’m pretty convinced that he couldn’t get any cuter…and pretty convinced that he’s going to. :)
Berean, Six Months Old
Loving life! And boy do we love him!!
Praising God for our handsome, healthy, heaven-sent baby boy!
October 11, 2011
The Daily Paws
You can’t really see it in this picture, but Berean’s shirt has a picture of a dog delivering a newspaper called “The Daily Paws.” I love it because I’m realizing that Berean is my “Daily Pause:” taking care of him, particularly when he needs to nurse, forces me to pause for a minute, which I think is more valuable than I realize.
The other day right after Adam left for work I got a call saying someone might want to look at the house. So far Adam has (miraculously) been home every time we’ve had a house showing, and I’ve been dreading the first time I have to get the house perfect and get Berean and the two dogs out of it all by myself. When we put the house on the market I emptied out our storage ottoman in the living room so I could throw stuff in there in a pinch (can I just say how stressful it is to not even be able to shove things in closets, let alone close doors on messy rooms? Thank heaven for that ottoman!) I now measure the cleanness/messiness of our house in terms of how many ottomans the mess would fill up. Haha! Thankfully the house was only about one-half-ottoman messy, but I needed to do cleaning (bathrooms, floors, etc), so I was a little panicked.
About halfway through my cleaning Berean woke up from his nap and wanted to eat. Panicked though I felt, I still told myself that he is the most important thing and sat down to feed him. Pausing in the middle of panic seems counter-intuitive, but I think it’s probably a really good idea. I’ve written before about how I love nursing Rean because it’s one of the few times I’m sure I’m doing the most important thing right at that moment. Having an immanent house showing definitely tested that theory, but I stuck to it, and I was glad I did because I was more calm in the end, anyway. Pausing to take care of him also gives me time to think and time to pray. I think I’ve done more praying since he was born than probably any other time in my life.
I know that as Rean gets older and stops nursing it’s going to get harder and harder for me to take a “daily pause” with him. He’ll be running around and we’ll probably have more kids and twenty activities I’ll want to do in order to give them “every opportunity” and make myself feel like a model wife/mother/Christian/missionary. But it’s a lesson I don’t want to forget: I can, and need to, take time to pause and just invest in and enjoy Adam and our kid(s).
It’s also a lesson I need to learn on a spiritual level. We all need time to pause and invest in our relationship with God; He instituted Sabbath for that very reason, but we Americans are very, VERY bad at pausing. My Sundays (or any other day) aren’t always truly restful, refreshing, and renewing. I think they (and the rest of my life) could be more so if I would make pausing and focusing on God more of a priority. Reflection, meditation, quietness, and listening prayer are all spiritual disciplines that are under-emphasized and in my case seriously under-practiced. I’d like to read something about them, if anyone has any book recommendations. An excellent book about rest in general is called The Rest of God, by Mark Buchanan. I think I need to reread it! (Oh, and I just saw he’s coming out with a novel about David. I am SO EXCITED!!)
But for now, I sure am treasuring my daily pauses with Berean. I never would have thought the business of motherhood might teach me to pause, but I hope it does. I may need to frame that onesie when he grows out of it….
July 14, 2011
Nursing – The Gift of One Thing to be Confident In
I am so thankful that God created breastfeeding. There are innumerable decisions to make as a mom, and for all the researching and praying and advice-asking I do, I still feel unsure about half of them. I’m so grateful for one decision that I feel one hundred percent confident in. There are so many things to worry about health-wise for Berean, but not breastfeeding – - I know it is healthy for him, and perfectly so. I just think it’s incredible that our bodies can create this miracle food. Even if a woman is malnourished, her body will still make creating milk first priority, which is, I’m sure, what every mom would want if it was her choice – - to be able to take care of her baby. And not only is it a miracle food, but it’s simply incredible that all babies (unless there is a health problem) love it. How many foods can you think of that everyone likes? And especially foods that are healthy – - how rare is that??
I also love that I don’t have to ever wonder how to prioritize breastfeeding. Sometimes I have so many things on my mind that I need to get done that I can’t decide where to start and I end up doing nothing and just stressing out instead. But, when it’s time for Rean to eat, I don’t need to think about what to do first. I feel completely secure in the decision to drop everything else and nurse him.
At first, I confess I wasn’t sure why so many moms talked about the emotional fulfillment and connection to their babies they found in breastfeeding. Now I can definitely say it’s precious. There’s nothing sweeter than when he finishes eating and just smiles at me with the most contented, relaxed look. Often he’ll lay in my arms and just softly chatter like he’s trying to tell me everything he’s thinking. And it is so comforting to know that if he’s upset and nothing else will calm him, chances are feeding him will. It’s reassuring to know I have a trump card! There is something extremely satisfying in calming down an upset baby. I love that he feels safest and most secure when he’s in my arms, so much so that he can go from crying his eyes out to falling asleep in a matter of minutes.
Granted, the first five weeks of breastfeeding were incredibly painful. I was on vicodin the first week, and I still told Adam it felt like I had a million paper cuts and someone was pouring salt and vinegar in them. Ouch! But, even still, it was totally worth it (and I’m so thankful it isn’t painful anymore!) I’ve also been incredibly blessed that Rean caught on fast and I didn’t have any complications.
I really see breastfeeding as an incredible example of God’s grace, not just in providing for Rean, but taking care of me, too. I need the emotional security of having at least one thing I know is the absolute best thing I could do for Rean! I realize not everyone has such an easy time, and some can’t keep breastfeeding because of work or health problems, and I can imagine how discouraging that would be. It makes me even more thankful for God’s grace, and I treasure it even more! What a gift.
