October 13, 2011
Six Months Old
Berean just turned six months old. I can’t believe it–where did the months go? We’re loving every day of discovery and development. He lights up our lives in more ways than I could ever express. I’m pretty convinced that he couldn’t get any cuter…and pretty convinced that he’s going to. :)
Berean, Six Months Old
Loving life! And boy do we love him!!
Praising God for our handsome, healthy, heaven-sent baby boy!
October 11, 2011
The Daily Paws
You can’t really see it in this picture, but Berean’s shirt has a picture of a dog delivering a newspaper called “The Daily Paws.” I love it because I’m realizing that Berean is my “Daily Pause:” taking care of him, particularly when he needs to nurse, forces me to pause for a minute, which I think is more valuable than I realize.
The other day right after Adam left for work I got a call saying someone might want to look at the house. So far Adam has (miraculously) been home every time we’ve had a house showing, and I’ve been dreading the first time I have to get the house perfect and get Berean and the two dogs out of it all by myself. When we put the house on the market I emptied out our storage ottoman in the living room so I could throw stuff in there in a pinch (can I just say how stressful it is to not even be able to shove things in closets, let alone close doors on messy rooms? Thank heaven for that ottoman!) I now measure the cleanness/messiness of our house in terms of how many ottomans the mess would fill up. Haha! Thankfully the house was only about one-half-ottoman messy, but I needed to do cleaning (bathrooms, floors, etc), so I was a little panicked.
About halfway through my cleaning Berean woke up from his nap and wanted to eat. Panicked though I felt, I still told myself that he is the most important thing and sat down to feed him. Pausing in the middle of panic seems counter-intuitive, but I think it’s probably a really good idea. I’ve written before about how I love nursing Rean because it’s one of the few times I’m sure I’m doing the most important thing right at that moment. Having an immanent house showing definitely tested that theory, but I stuck to it, and I was glad I did because I was more calm in the end, anyway. Pausing to take care of him also gives me time to think and time to pray. I think I’ve done more praying since he was born than probably any other time in my life.
I know that as Rean gets older and stops nursing it’s going to get harder and harder for me to take a “daily pause” with him. He’ll be running around and we’ll probably have more kids and twenty activities I’ll want to do in order to give them “every opportunity” and make myself feel like a model wife/mother/Christian/missionary. But it’s a lesson I don’t want to forget: I can, and need to, take time to pause and just invest in and enjoy Adam and our kid(s).
It’s also a lesson I need to learn on a spiritual level. We all need time to pause and invest in our relationship with God; He instituted Sabbath for that very reason, but we Americans are very, VERY bad at pausing. My Sundays (or any other day) aren’t always truly restful, refreshing, and renewing. I think they (and the rest of my life) could be more so if I would make pausing and focusing on God more of a priority. Reflection, meditation, quietness, and listening prayer are all spiritual disciplines that are under-emphasized and in my case seriously under-practiced. I’d like to read something about them, if anyone has any book recommendations. An excellent book about rest in general is called The Rest of God, by Mark Buchanan. I think I need to reread it! (Oh, and I just saw he’s coming out with a novel about David. I am SO EXCITED!!)
But for now, I sure am treasuring my daily pauses with Berean. I never would have thought the business of motherhood might teach me to pause, but I hope it does. I may need to frame that onesie when he grows out of it….
September 22, 2011
Ignoring Conventional Wisdom on Having Kids=Best Decision We’ve Ever Made
Berean, Five Months Old
I’ve been thinking tonight about what an incredible proof Berean is that God knows what He’s talking about and wants good things for us. When we decided to try to get pregnant, there were plenty of reasons people could have said we were nuts. The common “wisdom” on starting a family is that you need to a) be finished with school, established in your career(s), and financially secure, and b) have done everything fun that you want to do, because kids are going to tie you down and could destroy your dreams. We decided to say bah humbug to conventional wisdom, mostly because the Bible is so chock full of statements about how kids are a blessing and a joy.
For example: Psalm 127:3-5 Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward! Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them! Psalm 128:1-4 How blessed is everyone who fears the LORD, who walks in His ways…your wife shall be like a fruitful vine within your house, your children like olive plants around your table. Behold, for this is how the man who fears the LORD will be blessed!
If God, the one who created all the incredible things that make me happy (like chocolate, colors, the ocean, back rubs, ADAM!) says something is a blessing, then I would like to experience it! We also trusted that if God instructs us to raise godly children, He’ll give us the financial and emotional resources to do so.
Zooming Around on Daddy's Shoulders
Tonight I was doing homework and Adam put Rean in his PJs and then was jogging around the living room with Rean on his shoulders. The sight of our little baby in footy teddy bear pajamas, grinning from ear to ear as he clutched fistfuls of Adam’s hair and “drove” his daddy around the room was too adorable for words. They stopped by the table where I was working and Rean gave me a squeal and a huge smile before they zoomed off again. My heart just melted. I can’t even begin to describe how happy I am with our little family. Adam and Rean have brought me so much joy—infinitely more than I can ever imagine getting from the things we gave up to have him.
Certainly, it’s hard too. And there’s no guarantee that parenting won’t involve heartbreak (in fact, it probably will at some point). I have friends who have experienced terrible heartache, whether in raising their kids or in trying to have kids. My heart bleeds for them, and I don’t understand the unfairness of it. I don’t understand why good parents have children who rebel, or why evil people harm their children while wonderful couples have no children. Amazingly, most of my friends who have experienced this have still told me that God has brought good things even out of their pain. In fact, witnessing firsthand the pain of our friends who wanted kids and were struggling to have them really drove home to Adam and I that kids are a blessing we shouldn’t take lightly or make a low priority.
Melts My Heart!
When I look at Berean, there just aren’t words to describe how fiercely I love him, or how fulfilled and joyful he makes me. And tonight it hit me again: God is right. He is really, really, right. He knows what He’s talking about. Berean will always be a great reminder to trust God when I’m faced with things that God says but I don’t think make sense. I SO wanted to have a baby, but it was still a leap of faith for us, one we made because we trusted (and still trust) that God knows what’s best for us, knows how to give us REAL blessings, and will take care of us. God has provided for and blessed us more than I could ever have imagined, and He always will. I am SO thankful, and so blessed!!
August 9, 2011
Baby Toys: All You Need is Four!
I’m determined to keep the toy situation from becoming out of control. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to do it, because baby toys are so cute, and it’s so fun to give him things, and…. But clutter stresses me out, and I would really rather have a few great, quality toys that Berean loves than a million cheap ones he doesn’t play with, so I’m determined to try! We all know we only really played with a couple of our toys as kids, anyway. Of course, it’s much easier to keep a handle on it right now when he has no idea what toys he has! Haha! But for the time being I’ve found four baby toys that cover all the bases, are safe and well-made, Berean loves, and I love too.
1. Freddie the Firefly. This was the first toy Berean showed an interest in, and it’s great for when babies are just getting interested in toys but don’t have a lot of coordination. It’s easy to hold and has fabric in the wings that makes a crinkle noise, which he finds fascinating. Now that he’s older he’s getting interested in all the different textures — it has parts that are silky, fuzzy, ribbed, knotted, knitted, etc. He’s fascinated by the contrasting colors—the front is colorful and the back is a bold black and white pattern. It also has a mirror, teeter toy, clinking rings, and a squeaker.
I think it’s a beautiful toy. Maybe I’m silly, but I’m really affected by atmosphere/ambiance and it makes me feel stressed to be surrounded by kid’s toys that are garish and clashing. This one is bright and cheerful and the colors are gradated so they coordinate really nicely. And, last but not least, I’ve also read that Lamaze is committed to not using PVC in their toys, which is great.
2. The Skwish. It seemed like every family I babysat for as a teenager had one of these, and I was just as mesmerized by it as the kids! The black strings are elastic, so you can squish and pull on it and it springs back into its original shape. The balls on the rods slide so as you turn it it’s like looking at a kaleidoscope and it makes a gentle clinking sound. It is very lightweight and easy to grasp, so great for helping develop motor skills. I can just see the neurons firing when he’s playing with it and watching it move! Manhattan Toys says that all their Skiwsh varieties are made with replenishable rubberwood with a water based, non-toxic finish.
3. Sophie the Giraffe. When Berean started gnawing on everything I got one of those circle gel-filled teethers. Not only was he totally uninterested in it, but he seemed to have a hard time holding it, and even though the packaging said it was non-toxic I was a little unsure. I kept thinking they needed a stick-shaped teether so he could easily get it in his mouth. Voila! A giraffe! I was a little surprised how pricy it was ($20), but it got great reviews (4.5 stars on over 1,300 reviews!) so I gave it a try, and Rean loves it. It squeaks, and Rean loves to fling it around and make it squeak as much as he likes to chew on it. It’s made of all natural rubber (from a tree) and food paint—no harmful chemicals. Again, I’d rather have one expensive but safe chew toy he loves than a lot of cheap ones I’m not sure about.
4. Blankie Bear. Rean loves to cuddle this when he’s falling asleep in his swing. The bear is snuggly, he loves to chew on the fur on the edge, and the underside is cool satin. If I put a stuffed animal in his lap it rolls off as soon as he moves, but the blankie part of this keeps it in his lap. I wouldn’t put it (or any loose blanket) in his crib, but it’s great for when he’s in his swing or high chair. I got this as a gift and couldn’t find a link to the exact one, but I love the look of the Pooh Bear one in the link!
With these four toys you have something soft and textured, something hard with movable parts, something chewable, and something soft and snuggleable. All your bases covered in four toys!
So, what are your favorite baby toys, and what would you recommend for when he’s a toddler (and beyond!)?
July 14, 2011
Nursing – The Gift of One Thing to be Confident In
I am so thankful that God created breastfeeding. There are innumerable decisions to make as a mom, and for all the researching and praying and advice-asking I do, I still feel unsure about half of them. I’m so grateful for one decision that I feel one hundred percent confident in. There are so many things to worry about health-wise for Berean, but not breastfeeding – - I know it is healthy for him, and perfectly so. I just think it’s incredible that our bodies can create this miracle food. Even if a woman is malnourished, her body will still make creating milk first priority, which is, I’m sure, what every mom would want if it was her choice – - to be able to take care of her baby. And not only is it a miracle food, but it’s simply incredible that all babies (unless there is a health problem) love it. How many foods can you think of that everyone likes? And especially foods that are healthy – - how rare is that??
I also love that I don’t have to ever wonder how to prioritize breastfeeding. Sometimes I have so many things on my mind that I need to get done that I can’t decide where to start and I end up doing nothing and just stressing out instead. But, when it’s time for Rean to eat, I don’t need to think about what to do first. I feel completely secure in the decision to drop everything else and nurse him.
At first, I confess I wasn’t sure why so many moms talked about the emotional fulfillment and connection to their babies they found in breastfeeding. Now I can definitely say it’s precious. There’s nothing sweeter than when he finishes eating and just smiles at me with the most contented, relaxed look. Often he’ll lay in my arms and just softly chatter like he’s trying to tell me everything he’s thinking. And it is so comforting to know that if he’s upset and nothing else will calm him, chances are feeding him will. It’s reassuring to know I have a trump card! There is something extremely satisfying in calming down an upset baby. I love that he feels safest and most secure when he’s in my arms, so much so that he can go from crying his eyes out to falling asleep in a matter of minutes.
Granted, the first five weeks of breastfeeding were incredibly painful. I was on vicodin the first week, and I still told Adam it felt like I had a million paper cuts and someone was pouring salt and vinegar in them. Ouch! But, even still, it was totally worth it (and I’m so thankful it isn’t painful anymore!) I’ve also been incredibly blessed that Rean caught on fast and I didn’t have any complications.
I really see breastfeeding as an incredible example of God’s grace, not just in providing for Rean, but taking care of me, too. I need the emotional security of having at least one thing I know is the absolute best thing I could do for Rean! I realize not everyone has such an easy time, and some can’t keep breastfeeding because of work or health problems, and I can imagine how discouraging that would be. It makes me even more thankful for God’s grace, and I treasure it even more! What a gift.
May 1, 2011
A New Kind of Date
After working seven days in a row (with 10-12 hour shifts) Adam finally got a day off today! It was sooooooo nice to have him here. I simply don’t know how single moms do it. He went to church this morning, but we’ve been instructed by the pediatrician to not take Berean out until he’s a month old, so I stayed home. Since we can’t take Rean places, we got creative for a date—we packed him into the car and went on a progressive drive-thru date: to Hardy’s for burgers, then McDonalds for fries and drinks, and Wendys for frosties. Hehe. The weather was nice, so we sat with the windows rolled down and talked. It was fun, and really nice to get out of the house. After we came home and fed Rean, Adam insisted on watching him while I went and ran a few errands. What a sweet husband! For some reason I love running errands—getting them done makes me feel like the world is in control! Every time I left a store I had a horrible feeling that I was forgetting something, though (my keys? wallet?); I realized I felt like I was forgetting baby! It does feel like a piece of me is missing when I’m not with him. To finish our date day we rented Tangled from Redbox, popped popcorn, poured soda, and watched the movie (with only a few breaks for diaper changing, feeding, and crying). Our lives have definitely changed, and our definition of a date night might have to change for a while, but it’s a good change!
April 9, 2011
Happy Pregnant Pessimist
I am a happy pessimist. I have long maintained that it’s better to be pessimistic and pleasantly surprised than optimistic and disappointed. The logic is irrefutable! I like being a pessimist, and I am quite happy being regularly pleasantly surprised when my dire dramatic predictions of doom fail to come true. Pessimism is great! (Oops, I mean, it’s horrible.)
I don’t know what possessed me, then, to be optimistic about when Baby would arrive. Maybe it was the fact that I hate surprises, so I mentally prepared myself for the possibility of him being early. Maybe it was the fact that my Mom’s first baby was three and a half weeks early. Maybe it was the preeclampsia scare where they might have induced at 36 ½ weeks. Maybe it was the fact that I’ve been having pre-labor contractions (weak, but real) for three weeks. Maybe it was the fact that Mom’s schedule meant she had to come early, so we prayed for Baby to come early, too.
Whatever it was, I’ve spent about the past month optimistically thinking “He COULD come any day now.” Which means that I’ve also spent the past month being disappointed! Baby is now late, even later than the average late baby, and my case for the benefits of pessimism has been supported like never before. Hence, I have come to a conclusion:
Baby is not coming. He is going to live in my tummy until he is 18. It is time, at long last, to break down and go buy summer maternity clothes, since I will be wearing them for the rest of my life. It is time to embrace my huge stomach and go get a tattoo to cover the rapidly multiplying stretch marks. Adam’s going to figure out how to turn Baby’s crib into an attachment to our bed so we can have a king size, I can sleep with my mountain of pillows, and he can sleep on more than six inches of mattress. We’re going to buy an ultrasound machine so we’ll have pictures to post on Facebook as Baby grows up. I’m enrolling myself in peewee soccer, kiddy choir, little fishies swim class, and finger painting class so Baby can have every opportunity in his childhood in my tummy.
Because, you see, Baby is not coming.
(Aaaaand…let the pleasant surprising begin! …PLEASE??)
January 24, 2011
Spring Nesting
We keep hearing how this has been an unusually cold winter for South Carolina, and I have to agree that it has been pretty cold. Not only has it snowed twice, but many mornings the temperature has only been in the teens when I’ve left for work. Not exactly in the single digits with -40 degree wind chill, but still pretty cold.
Lately, though, we’ve had several days where temps have gotten close to the sixties, and to my Coloradan/Wisconsinite brain that can only mean one thing: SPRING!! I really feel like it must be March or April, and then I’m disappointed when I realize it’s still January. But, it’s got all sorts of Spring tasks on my brain. For one, I desperately want to finish the wretched fence. We’ve got half the posts up and about a fourth of the panels. It’s so easy to nail up the panels once the posts are there, except for one thing: I can’t help Adam carry them anymore (last time I tried I almost fainted). So, they sit in our garage. We do have a wonderful friend who has volunteered to help, though, so maybe now that the weather is getting warmer we can finally finish the dumb thing!
I’m also back to mentally plotting flower and vegetable gardens. Which is remarkable considering this is…well, ME. The vegetable garden was a wah wah wah failure last year, in my opinion (except for the basil bush). I think part of the problem was I planted too late and it got too hot and killed everything. Again, I’m still thinking as though I’m in CO or WI, where you don’t dare plant until the last frost comes in, say, June. Haha. As for flowers, I really, really want to plant a purple crepe myrtle tree in the front yard, and some roses. The problem is where to put roses—the front of the house never gets any sun, and I never go in the back yard. Which might change if there was a fence! And fewer burrs. That’s another thing. We have no front lawn, only a proliferation of wicked little burr-producing something. I don’t know how you get rid of it, but I’m determined to find out. I think we’re going to have to sod the front yard, but the back might be salvageable. But one thing is for sure, those burrs are EVIL and must be destroyed! Unfortunately, these pipe dreams also require another thing: money. Wah wah waaaaaaaaaah.
Of course, there’s one other thing that Spring makes me think of: Baby! I’ve been thinking that we’re getting so close to the due date, but it’s really still ten weeks away. Still, I figure I have to get all my Spring (and Summer) tasks done in the next ten weeks, or they’ll probably never get done. We’ve begun “nesting” by cleaning and organizing things like closets and those horrible miscellaneous drawers and boxes that seem to multiply incessantly. Unfortunately, whenever I organize/purge the house always looks way worse before it gets better. It’s all the piles of can’t-toss-don’t-know-where-to-put stuff. I hate those piles. So, our nest looks a lot more like a pile of sticks than a nest right now, but hopefully it will be put in place before April 2nd!
And, last but not least, all these Spring-ish thoughts always make me want my mom. She was the one who would jump up and down when she saw the first crocuses poking through the snow and exclaim “Yay, Spring! Go, go, go!!” Love you, Mom.
January 9, 2011
Travelin, travelin!
Adam and I just got back from an amazing whirlwind of a vacation. We were gone eleven days and packed more into those days than I thought possible! I’ll skip the flight horror stories since we’ve all had those—let’s just say it was bad, and were it not for both sets of parents coming to our rescue, the vacation would not have happened! Thank you so much, Mom and Dad Larson and Hamill!!
Our first stop was Arizona, where my extended family’s biennial (yes, I looked that up) Christmas get together was being held. My dad is one of nine children, so these reunions are a big deal, literally! I think it’s incredible that even though there are so many of us and we’re spread so far apart, everyone still makes it a point to come spend several days together every other Christmas. I have treasured relationships with my aunts, uncles, and cousins that I never would have had otherwise. What a blessing!
While we were there we had Christmas dinner, a gift exchange, and they even threw a shower for Adam and I, my cousins who just had a baby, and my sister and her fiancé, who just got engaged! And, of course, we spent many hours playing stinky peasant, mafia, Dutch blitz, Mexican train dominoes, and other games. (I’m assuming the pinochle tradition was continued at the home the ol’ folks were staying at, too, but I was not witness to it, as I was staying at the house with the young folks. Hehe.)
Next we flew to Wisconsin where I was in one of my best friend’s weddings. Thanks to our flight issues we missed the rehearsal but made it in time for the dinner and New Year’s party. We left before midnight so we could stop by a party some friends from our old church were having, and it was so fun to see so many of our friends, some of whom Adam has known since middle school! The wedding was Sunday, and I not only managed to fit into my bridesmaid’s dress (score!), but also refrained from fainting or falling during the ceremony. The funniest thing was that all three of the bridesmaids were pregnant and showing! (I told my friend that probably meant she was going to have honeymoon triplets. She was not amused. Hehe.) The bride was absolutely lovely, and it was so special to get to be a part of their celebration! I miss her so much, and am so happy for her and her wonderful husband.
Next we spent a few days with Adam’s family, where we celebrated Christmas again and were thrown another baby shower! The shower was so much fun and I felt so loved—thank you to everyone who planned and came to it! It was so fun to spend time with family, too, especially since the next time we’re all together there will be four grandkids added to the family! We also got to get together with a lot of friends from NTBI who we miss so much. I can’t believe we’ve been gone a year.
We had a wonderful time—how often do you get to see both sides of your family, be in a wedding, celebrate Christmas, be thrown baby showers, and meet with so many friends from school and church, all in one shot? We feel so blessed to have been able to go!
When we arrived back home late at night we hugged our dogs (who we left with a house sitter), inspected the house, and immediately went out and bought a carpet shampooer. Apparently the dogs’ gift to themselves in our absence was a vacation from being housebroken. Wa wa waaaa. But even that didn’t dampen our opinion of what a wonderful time we had!! And, miraculously, I was still glad to see my cuddle puppies. Good thing they’re so cute….
And now, back to reality! (Wait…what? Do I have to?)
December 3, 2010
The Results Are In! (Drum-roll, Please….)
Well, the results are in! The votes tally as follows: 70% said “Indubitably a Girl,” and 30% said “Definitely a Boy.” But, there was really only one vote that counted: Baby’s vote! I had prayed that he/she would cooperate, and when the time came, Baby very obligingly (and clearly) announced:
“Hi, Mom and Dad! I’m a BOY!!!”
I think he wanted to be extra sure his nursery would NOT be pink. Hehe! Our ultrasound went great. Little Bear is in the 52nd percentile for weight, which is great to hear since I’ve been wondering why I’m not gaining much weight. But, as long as he is doing good, I am FINE with that! We got to see his heart, blood flow, measurements, and even see him take a huge yawn! It was amazing to watch his little hand go “plunk” on my tummy and feel it at the same time. And I am absolutely in love with his little nose! I just can’t believe how much they can measure and check up on as Baby is being knit together. I don’t think I understood half of what she showed us except her saying “(explanation of picture)—looks great!” He’s sitting breech right now, but we have plenty of time for him to summersault around. Hopefully he will be as cooperative with that request as he was with my request for an obvious ultrasound result!
We are so thankful that Little Bear is healthy and developing just like he should be. And now we can start decorating the nursery! I have a little blue Classic Pooh Bear onesie sitting next to me, and I LOVE looking at it and picturing it filled with a cuddly little tummy. Can’t wait!
